Why You Should Watch Sports

Jacob from Putanumonit says you should watch sports. I agree, but for different reasons.

The fact is, all over the world, sporting events are the most broadly watched and spoken about entertainment ever, which means that knowing sports is the Pareto way to meet people, make friends, and acquire cred and charisma (if you put in a little bit of effort).

[Note: this is written from the perspective of a straight male nerd who possesses the three programmer virtues in spades; if you don't think that the techniques described herein would work for you, that's probably why.]

Why It Works

Despite the fact that eleventy billion people watch live sports, follow sports accounts on social media, and watch SportsCenter at the gym, barely any of them actually give it a few seconds of logical thought. 99% of sports analysis is a) repeating what the punditry state, or b) entirely vibes-based (but I repeat myself). Most knowledge is second-hand, and judgments almost never take into account (known) probabilities or second-order consequences. This gives you a gigantic opportunity to slip into the normiesphere without their suspecting a thing.

How It Works

To become knowledgeable enough to chill with your coworkers or fellow partygoers, spend an afternoon reading the rules and history of the sport of your choice, go through the ESPN articles from the last week or so, and keep an eye on SportsCenter and the highlight reels of your favorite team.

To appear a bit more knowledgeable than average, memorize the starting lineup of your favorite team, and use prediction markets in conjunction with gambling sites to inform your predictions for upcoming games.

If you play your cards right (i.e., don't be too overbearing, hedge some of your statements), then you now have a free opening gambit when trying to create smalltalk, a way to get in on group conversations, and a better reputation (since you can now talk to people).

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